February 24, 2019Happiness is one of life’s most coveted treasures hidden within the very core of our reality. Pursued by many yet found by few, it is often misunderstood, misplaced and eventually replaced with temporal bliss that serves to mask its perception, and delay its acquisition.
As human beings in this realm of brief temporal existence, happiness can be attained in partiality as a satiated need embellished in momentous triumph. Yet, achieving longstanding happiness reflects a dire need of the human psyche, primal yet beneficial to our biology.
We might differ in what inherently makes us happy, but happiness is a conscious choice we make going through our daily lives. There’s no changing the inevitable, but we can own how we react to certain situations. With that being said, here are 15 secrets to unlocking the happy life that happy people live by.
Learn to Forgive
Learn to ForgiveIt is natural to think that the one who benefits from forgiveness is the forgiven. The forgiven might benefit from a burden lifted and guilt erased, but what’s in it for the forgiver?
“When you forgive, you in no way change the past – but you sure do change the future.” – Bernard Meltzer
Unforgiveness leads to bitterness and resentment with dire consequences to your personal health while leaving mortal wound to your inner peace. It traps you within a prison of your own pride and asperity. The key? Simple. Forgiveness. It’s the only way you can break free from the vicious cycle of hurt, anger and resentment from an unresolved conflict. After all, forgiveness is the first part of moving on.
Be An Optimist
Optimists shine in the face of adversity. No matter the circumstance, they manage to catch a glimpse of the light at the end of the tunnel. How does this translate into our own happiness?
“A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.” – Winston Churchill
Hope is a wonderful thing. It makes us realize that no matter how hard life is, time will turn a new page and better days awaits. It makes us strive and thrive to overcome, rather than sulking in our own tears of self pity and despair. After all, an optimist finds opportunity in every difficulty, while a pessimist finds difficulty in every opportunity. In a similar situation, which one do you think is happier?
Laugh More Often
Laugh More OftenNo matter where you are in this world, laughter is a universal language that everyone understands. It is contagious, feels great, and just makes us happier. According to a study published on the Journal of Korean Academy of Nursing, laughter naturally activates the release of a neurotransmitter serotonin, which is the same chemical affected by many antidepressants. Most notable effects are on middle aged women with severe depression.
“Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face.” – Victor Hugo
So if you’re feeling down, watch a funny movie, read the funnies on the newspaper, or hang out with some friends and have a heartfelt conversation and a healthy dose of laughter.
Understand that Life isn’t Fair
We find ourselves in constant struggle with this unappealing reality, yet the evidence is irrefutable. Some people are born into a life of sublime luxury and bliss, while others into misery and grief. Yet, one thing is certain. We should not be living our lives in constant comparison with other people. We each have our own paths to take, journey to complete and destiny to fulfill. We might have to work harder than most people to get to where we’re at, but nothing is truly impossible until you say it is. After all, life isn’t fair and it will never be.
“Life isn’t easy, life isn’t fair. When you get your chance, make sure you take it.” – Tyron Woodley
You will never be truly happy until you find contentment in what you have, and live each day with a grateful heart.
Live Your Passion
Live Your PassionHappiness is the inevitable outcome of passionate living. When you love what you do, it makes perfect sense to do what you love. Having a passionate sense of purpose brings forth contentment, motivation and ultimately, the happiness we all work hard to achieve.
“Passion is energy. Feel the power that comes from focusing on what excites you.” – Oprah Winfrey
Find time to do what you’re truly passionate about, instead of letting it slide and become one of life’s regrets towards its untimely end.
Work Hard, Play Harder
Ever heard of the saying that “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy”? In a simpler sense, working hard without taking some much needed time off can be detrimental to your productivity, treacherous to your motivation, and eventually cost you your happiness.
“You will never feel truly satisfied by work until you are satisfied by life.” – Heather Schuck
We all believe in the value of hard work, but a commendable work-life balance shouldn’t otherwise be overlooked. If you work hard, you just have to play even harder.
Lower Your Expectations
Lower Your ExpectationsYour overall happiness is the difference between your perceived reality and expectations. You can work hard to achieve your dreams and elevate your reality, but if your expectations far exceeds it, it will be quite challenging for you to find contentment and personal happiness.
“My expectations were reduced to zero when I was 21. Everything since then has been a bonus.” – Stephen Hawking
Lowering your expectations too much can also be a drawback to your will and motivation. Achieving the right balance is key to being happy while having the drive to pursue betterment in life.
Reward Your Victories
Take a break from the monotony of the daily grind by taking time to “smell the roses” along the way. This means spending time to enjoy life and treat yourself even in subtle ways to celebrate life’s many victories.
“The reward for work well done is the opportunity to do more.” – Jonas Salk
It is fundamentally human to work hard towards success. But we have to realize success and happiness does not always go hand in hand. Don’t be too hard on yourself. In lieu, make each of life’s triumphs a reason to celebrate and a chance to be happy.
Have Meaningful Relationships
Have Meaningful RelationshipsPeople we spend most of our time with have a tremendous impact to our own happiness. Surround yourself with positive camaraderie and see yourself encouraged, energized and uplifted by the positive vibe. On the other hand, toxic relationships drain your energy, weaken your soul, and suck every bit of happiness out of your life.
“A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.” – Walter Winchell
We might not be able to pick our coworkers, our family, but we certainly can pick our friends. And when you do, remember that it matters not how many friends you have, but cherish the ones who build you up and those who will always be there for you. These are the ones who will turn your frown into a smile, and add a little dash of happy to your life.
Start Traveling
Discovering new places, immersing in unfamiliar cultures and expanding your culinary horizons, all these you can get through traveling, but how does it affect our happiness?
“Travel is the only thing you buy that makes you richer” — Author Unknown
According to a study in Cornell University spearheaded by Dr. Thomas Gilovich, people who spend their money on new experiences have a higher level of happiness than those who spend their money on material things. Why? The momentary happiness you garner from acquiring new things is short lived, in contrast to the lasting memories you procure from your travel adventures.
Self Acceptance
Self AcceptanceSelf acceptance is vital to positive living and happiness. It is the process of reuniting with your unconditioned self, the part of you that reaches deeper than your identity, achievements and failures.
“No amount of self-improvement can make up for any lack of self-acceptance.”― Robert Holden
Self acceptance is simply the act of acknowledging who you are as a holistic organism, and embracing the indisputable reality that we are nowhere near perfect. Refraining from comparing yourself with others is the beginning of this journey. What follows is the unearthing of a fallible human being, vulnerable to weaknesses, and revered for their strengths. Having flaws is not a weakness in itself nor something we ought to resent, rather it is something we can hone and work on to better ourselves.
Be More Grateful
According to psychologists, an attitude of gratitude can boost your happiness and your overall sense of well being. Being grateful can bring about an insurmountable influx of positivity and a much deeper appreciation of every good thing life brings us. It makes us highlight life’s victories and see in much clarity the goodness in other people. Ultimately, it changes our perspective of the world around us.
“Gratitude is a powerful catalyst for happiness. It’s the spark that lights a fire of joy in your soul.” – Amy Collette
To be thankful and be thanked; with the full circle of gratitude in constant motion, happiness will become an inescapable outcome, an inevitable after effect to an ever grateful lifestyle.
Letting Go of the Past
Letting Go of the PastWe are supposed to learn from our past, live in the moment and plan for our future. What if we get stuck in our own prison of past demise? What if we find ourselves in paralyzing fear of reliving undesirable yesteryears?
“The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.” -Steve Maraboli
Don’t forget the past, learn from it. But to dwell in it renders us the inability to move on and indulge in what life presents us. We ought not to be unforgiving of past misadventures, but to look forward towards tomorrow’s endeavors with much anticipation and excitement.
Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff
When someone cuts you off in traffic, or “steal” your parking spot, how infuriated do you become? Would you let it go on and ruin the rest of your day?
“We forget that life isn’t as bad as we’re making it out to be. We also forget that when we’re blowing things out of proportion, we are the ones doing the blowing.” – Richard Carlson
Sweating over the small stuff means giving up our happiness over to minor inconveniences we can’t control. We fret over petty injustices and get offended at the drop of a hat. At the end of the day, you ask yourself, “What did I gain from the way I reacted? Was I able to add value to my existence?”.
Pray Often
Pray OftenPrayer is the single most powerful tool we have in attaining unobjectionable happiness, immense joy and unexplainable peace. It allows us to channel our emotions through faith to God, and free our soul from all of life’s insurmountable burdens.
“Prayer is simply talking to God like a friend and should be the easiest thing we do each day.” – Joyce Meyer
If what you perceive as prayer is a laundry list of demands you want God to fulfill, then you might be missing out on the full benefits of prayer. When you pray, you open up your heart, mind and soul in a two way spiritual connection with God. If you’re skeptical, give it a try. You only have God’s eternal joy and peace waiting for you on the other side.
